“Unlikeable” Female Characters

I’m not the biggest fan of the phrase “unlikable female characters.” It’s often used as shorthand for female characters who are complex or challenging; characters who refuse to sugarcoat their desires with quirkiness or self-deprecation or comedy. When male characters are selfish, or egotistical, or aggressive, they’re not labeled “unlikable men.” The “unlikable” descriptor is reserved for women. It is specifically reserved for women who do not act in a way designed to please others. 

Of course, this labeling is not restricted to fictional characters. In American society, female “likability” is entangled with behavior policing, mostly in service to the patriarchy: don’t be aggressive (“bitch”), don’t talk over men (“shrill”), don’t have conspicuous appetites (choose your epithet here based on context, whether sex-related, food-related, money-related & etc.). Don’t attempt to challenge male authority in traditionally male realms.

Well. I’m of the opinion that we need many, many more “unlikeable” women in this world: in fiction, in popular media, and in real life.

Writing These Characters 

So you want to write an “unlikable” female character? Great! Let’s start by dropping the negative label and referring to such characters as “complex” female characters (CFCs) instead. Because they don’t have to be perceived as unlikeable! Sometimes they are the characters whom we love and cheer for the most. CFCs can make up any part of your book’s cast. A CFC can be the protagonist, the antagonist, the best friend, the lover. A CFC can be a crime boss, or a mother, or a college student. The goal here is to write female characters who are not defined by stereotypes, who don’t fit any neat categories, who are messy and full of contradictions … in other words, who are very human and alive.

How is this different from the important mission of writing rich, three-dimensional female characters in general? Typically, a CFC is not acting in the best interest of others. She may not have good intentions or be responsible. CFCs subvert or defy social norms. They refuse to conform and instead pursue their own pleasures, goals and power-grabs. In short, CFCs do things the reader -- and the writer -- may not allow herself to do in real life.

Following this sense of possibility -- of unfettered desire (sexual desire, desire for power, desire for violence, desire for attention) -- is one way to draft the arc of your CFC. If you allow her to be pure id, unconcerned with the effects her actions have on others, some of the decisions she makes might surprise you. Of course, you’re not trying to write a sociopath. (Or maybe you are? If so, write on!) After letting your CFC run amok in early drafts, go back into the story and put some narrative hurdles in her way. Force her to make tougher choices as she interacts with the story and other characters, some of whom she probably cares about. This could bring about the magic moment many of us are familiar with, when our characters seem to take on a life of their own.

Another thing that will add depth to your CFC in later drafts is keeping in mind that most people see themselves as the hero of their own story. Most people feel justified in their actions (and invent complex justifications as needed). If your CFC is making questionable decisions, keep her grounded in reality by letting the reader glimpse a few of the mental hoops she’s is jumping through to see herself as the hero -- or how it pains her if she’s failing to live up to her own standards.

Getting Folks to Invest in Your “Unlikeable” Characters

In some ways, writing CFCs is the fun and easy part … when compared to pitching their stories to readers, agents, and editors.

One of the primary challenges with a CFC is getting the reader invested in her story. When you have a character who is well-intentioned, readers may naturally identify with her because she wants to “do the right thing.” A CFC -- who may not at all be interested in “doing the right thing” -- doesn’t have this built-in advantage.

A common piece of feedback with CFCs is: “I just couldn’t relate to/connect with the character.” As someone who doesn’t take pains to make my female characters “likeable,” I’ve gotten this feedback many times during my publishing journey. What can counteract this initial resistance to a CFC? Here are some options:

POV First-person POV naturally aligns the reader with the main character by placing the reader in that character’s thoughts. It can be difficult to sustain a first-person POV for an entire book, however. (One favorite novel of mine that does this beautifully is Ottessa Moshfegh’s MCGLUE, an excellent read with an unreliable narrator.) A compromise that has worked well for me is using a very close third-person POV, which at times gets so close that it picks up the character’s own speech tics or accelerates during tense scenes. This can give you some of the benefits of first-person with the narrative breathing room third-person allows.

Fiery First Pages If you know your CFC will be something of a hard sell, focus on starting your book with a narrative bang (an action scene, an argument, any in-progress conflict). This is a common tactic in some genres, and it can be just as effective in literary fiction as it is in crime fiction. If a reader is hooked into the action (and has a chance to see your CFC in action) they’ll want to keep reading. Combine excellent first pages with an awesome pitch laying out the wider scope of the story, and you’ve got an even better shot at keeping your reader reading.

Find Compatible Beta Readers It’s critical to find critique partners who understand what you’re trying to accomplish, and can help you fine-tune your vision (rather than warp your story to fit their vision). If your project is too gritty or too morally ambiguous or too anything for your critique partners, find new critique partners. You don’t want people who will offer copious, empty praise, but you don’t want a fundamental mismatch, either.

Do Your Agent Homework Connecting with an agent, like much of publishing, is highly dependent on luck. All you can do is be as prepared as possible and have your work polished to a high shine. When querying, look for agents who have specifically requested complex female characters -- and who, ideally, have expressed interest in multiple other facets of your manuscript.

Keep Creating!

Because I included “unlikable female characters” in my PitchWars wish list, I received a number of incredible submissions featuring these kinds of characters. (Please believe the mentors when we say it’s so difficult to choose just one mentee!) I’m glad so many of you are writing about complex women, and I encourage you to continue to do so -- now more than ever. 

I’ll close this out with a call for suggestions. Who are your favorite complex female characters -- in books, film or TV -- and why? Please share in the comments!